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No, this is soccer.
forced to play until you are 8. If your experience was like mine, you mostly Christian Louboutin Price
Don do it.
The Olympics are fine. The Olympics go on for days and we only have to watch Americans do things Americans are good at. Sometimes, to make sure it stays that way, we make up entire sports, like Skiing Down a Railing or Racing While Sporting a Soul Patch.
Soccer, to most American children, is something you are Manolo Blahnik Chaos Fringe Sandals
Other sports are better, too. In basketball, people keep making baskets all the way through. At least in baseball you can look away because nothing exciting ever actually happens.
Most of the popularity of soccer for the young seems to stem from the fact that soccer, like ballet, is something you can teach a 3 year old to do badly without having to put in too much effort. This should tell us something. look, Katie is standing there! What a great midfield player! Soccer used to be something you did not have to care about once you were an adult. Not having any feelings about soccer was a sign that you were no longer 8. We should keep it that way.
If these objections are too broad and theoretical, there is always this problem: Watching soccer is a miserable experience. It is not that it is boring. I watch baseball. It is that it is both boring and impossible to look away from. It demands the kind of constant nervous vigilance with mainly zero payoff that I thought I could save for child rearing.
Minute 10: People run around the field with a ball.
Minute 18: Nothing has happened so far.
Furthermore, the World Cup is un American. Explicitly so. It says in the name.
Watching event is unAmerican
I guess it better than cricket.
Minute 1: People run around the field with a ball.
stood there hoping that no one would pass you the ball. If anyone did, you tripped over it. Sometimes you just fell over spontaneously.
I know they call it football. But this is not football. American Football is football. You can tell this is not football because there are not nearly enough concussions. The only tight end involved in this game belongs to David Beckham.
It World Cup season. World Cup season is when one guy in your office suddenly goes nuts and pulls out all these strange flags from his desk drawer, and you realize that for the past several years, when it seemed that he was Oddly Disappointed For No Reason, it was actually that he was Following the Soccer. Now is his vengeance. Now everyone else has to start caring.
The World Cup goes on for weeks, and by the time it is over we have been forced to cheer for Manolo Blahnik Shoes Red
Minute 90: People run around the field with a ball.
If I wanted to spend 90 minutes watching foreigners beat us embarrassingly, I would just leaf very slowly through our students international math and science test results. I don want to have to cheer for France against Germany, or Manolo Blahnik Blue Shoes Ebay Italy against Turkey. What is this, 1917?
Germany. This is just wrong. We are the United States of America, and, the last several foreign conflicts aside, we are supposed to get involved only in things that we can win.
If this is what Globalization has in store for us weeks and weeks of watching more talented foreigners run around boring us to death? then isolationism is sounding better every day.
Hockey is like soccer, but in hockey people get into fights on the sidelines and carry big sticks, like Teddy Roosevelt would have wanted.
I know, in theory, that there are supposed to be fun things about soccer. The elaborate histrionics of a player taking a flop. The elegance of it. The rivalries. Inevitably, the game goes something like this:
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